Undisturbed
by Miki-chan13
Summary: And spring of 845 came and went, as ordinary as the previous for Tanya Degurachaff. An AU of Of Gods and Titans where the walls weren't invaded by Reiner, Bertolt and Annie. For Kweh Viola.


One-shot for Kweh Viola for being the one-hundredth reviewer for Of Gods and Titans!

* * *

Tanya awoke, her stomach already squirming with a feeling she had long acquainted with first interviews. She jumped out of bed with a spring in her step and purpose in her strides as she dressed herself and got the pack she had made two nights previous. Her mother was already up and making her favorite breakfast and Tanya's stomach growled audibly at the smell of bacon and eggs.

She tried to eat slowly but anticipation and a small seed of fear that she'd miss the wagons kept her from eating at a steady pace. But watching her mother watch her with a fond and proud smile made those feelings recede somewhat.

"It feels like it was just yesterday you barely took up any room on my lap," she said, trying to hold back tears.

Tanya winced as she was pulled into a tight hug and, even worse, soon became enveloped in a warm and fuzzy feeling that started from her stomach and spread to the rest of her body. She still thought that letting this bond foster was going to be a problem but she couldn't say she cared much at this point of time. Tanya reluctantly pushed off her mother and gathered her pack.

"Promise me you'll write?"

"Definitely." And she was out the door and doing her damnedest not to look back.

Each year, Liese always had some people leave town- whether to join the military or seek their fortunes elsewhere, they all got down the mountain the same way. The best- and only- trodden path that was wide enough for wagons and caravans to come through, far unlike the thinner and rougher roads that a horse could barely walk down through.

Tanya joined the other teenagers and young adults eager to get out of town while quietly fiddling with the ax her mother had given to her for self-defense, in case anyone there got ideas. But she was more consumed with anticipation and excitement than she remembered being in either lives- if she played her cards right, she'd be on the fast track to being an officer and having a nice, calm station in the inner walls with the Military Police.

* * *

 _If I don't develop tinnitus within the next three years, that'll be a true miracle._

Tanya set her things down by her bunk while the other girls and women did the same as they settled into their cabin. The drill sergeant- or rather, Trainee Corps Commander Keith Shadis, had lungs that really should have given out from the volume and rapid-fire of his bellows and insults to the cadets. With his sunken eyes that had the look of a madman, he had put fear into the would-be soldiers under his thumb for the next three years.

Strangely enough, he didn't so much as glance her way along with a few other cadets- Tanya was just relieved she got under his watch. All the better to get the jump on any of the other cadets and officers? As she put away her things and lounged in her bed, staring up at the bottom of the upper bunk, she let a smirk cross her face.

* * *

The three-dimensional gear straps burned against her body even under the clothes. Bruises littered new parts of her flesh every stumble and fall. She barely slept now, every waking moment spent training her mind or her body.

The hiss of steam became quiet, the weightlessness of flying became exhilarating, the cables linking her to the next leap became comforting. Even when she crashes more times than she counts, Tanya forced herself to keep going. Even when someone sabotaged her gear and she nearly snapped her neck against the cables, Tanya never stopped until flying became second-nature to her.

She made no friends, no connections beyond what she had before- all that mattered was becoming the best, or at least good enough to place in the top ten. Her mother soon moved into Trost to be closer to her, leaving behind everything save Mercury. She never said it, but Tanya knew her mother wanted her to form friendships or at least have someone beside her.

But the blonde knew how dangerous it was letting someone into their heart and she already had the mother of this life in hers- that was more than enough for Tanya. Besides, she had already chosen what path she'd follow and would allow no deviations from it. She locked up her heart and focused her mind on her path.

* * *

Three years passed.

She stood alongside the other nine cadets, placing first. Her lips twitched harshly, trying to fight down a grin of triumph at finally getting through her training. Her mother pulled her into a tight hug, tears of joy running from her eyes freely before taking her out for dinner to celebrate away from the newly minted soldiers. Her safety was guaranteed, her livelihood assured. Once she got up far enough in the ranks, she'd be able to move her mother in with her and then they'd both be set for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Tanya was stationed at the Stohess District where she came face-to-face with just how corrupt the branch she joined back was. But she said nothing and followed the rules set out for her, not willing to risk being swatted away or thrown out of Sina. Even though it turned her stomach, watching her officers not bat an eye to everything they let happen, Tanya remained silent and obeyed.

Aside from the odd case, she almost never used her gear. Soon, her muscles forgot how it felt to fly after she nearly crashed through a window while chasing a bandit across the rooftops. The belts felt worn and unnatural, the weight of her swords and gas tank unfamiliar. There were times when she went on top of the wall just to escape the city and get air that wasn't laced with perfume or sewage.

She never thought she'd miss her trainee days, but the times she used the gear to fly had been one of the greatest highlights in either of her lives. The freedom in the air, the adrenaline coursing through her veins and the rush of the wind all around her had made the blonde feel more alive than she remembered being. Was it worth giving up that joy for the concrete safety she had now?

 _Of course it is,_ she thought. _The titans are outside of the walls and nothing we do can stop them. The best way to be safe is to stay as far from them as we can and not disturb them._

But even that sounded hollow to her now.

* * *

Four more years passed.

With diligent work and obedience, Tanya became a captain and led her own squad. With her office, she was able to bring in her mother and set them up in a house for the two of them. She had always been a place of solace for Tanya but having her with her in such a corrupt and broken place had given her a light that she hadn;t known how desperately she needed it.

The more she worked, the more she found corruption riddled in the system. But no matter how much work she did to help the people there, no matter what she uncovered, it seemed to grow more foul, so much deeper. It was like she was drowning in a river of mud and shit, especially when considering the cases where she had to track down criminals or information into the Underground City.

Her squad kept changing as they either fell into the same corruption and she had to arrest them on the spot, or they simply didn't give enough of a damn to do proper work. The bags beneath her eyes grew darker, the once determined and defiant light faded from her eyes, her muscles strained against entropy and inactivity.

She had what she had been striving for in the palm of her hands and she hadn't even reached twenty yet. But the emptiness in her had never felt so vast before in either life.

* * *

"Tanya?"

The blonde looked up from the papers on her desk as her mother walked in, tea in hand. She accepted the cup gratefully, other hand massaging her forehead. She knew that her fellow officers enjoyed gambling but the costs before her had barely half left of their budget for the year and with new recruits coming in...

A gentle hand cupped her face and tilted her point of view to the worry on her mother's face. "Tanya..." she stopped, expression conflicted on what she was trying to say.

"Maybe we should leave."

Tanya's shoulder twitched at this and she schooled her expression into a blank slate. "We're safe here. We have food, money and comfort." Even the words felt like lead in her mouth.

"But you're not happy," her mother said. "Every time I see you, you've become more worn down to the bone. You're not eating, you barely sleep, you take more work on your shoulders than senior officers handle together!"

The blonde attempted to get up and leave only for her mother to grip her shoulders and turn her around, her gray eyes wet. "I know that you worked hard to get us both here, but I didn't come all this way to watch you die!"

"Then _you_ leave." The words came out of Tanya's mouth before she realized it, ugly anger curdling her stomach and twisting her face into a scowl. "I'm the only reason you're here, and you're the only one who want to go."

"Tanya-!"

"I worked my ass off for years to get here and away from _them-"_ She never referred to "them" any other way. Out sight and out of mind. "- and if you think I'm just going to leave everything I've built up and secured, _you're out of your mind!"_

"I'm only saying this because I'm concerned-"

"Or are you so dead-set on leaving behind the comfort and house I _let you live in?!"_

Tanya easily caught the woman's wrist before the slap had a chance to impact. When she moved her other arm, Tanya caught and slammed her against the wall with ease. She glared up at her, furious and dim cyan into defiant and wet gray. She abruptly let her go and stormed out of the room, grabbed her gear and gas tank before firing the cables.

* * *

She looked down at Stohess from the wall, taking in the sight from where she stood, the few Garrison soldiers stationed there used to her presence. Her stomach still burned with the ugly anger but shame crept in alongside it.

Tanya didn't want to concede that all that she worked and hoped for had made her miserable but the more she tried to tell herself that this was the best for her, the more difficult it came to ignore the corruption she dealt with, the work she took on, the silence she had to keep.

 _We're not leaving Wall Sina- we could just relocate,_ she mused. _There's sure to be some farms in Sina we could occupy. Animals are still more valuable than money and we could afford them with the money I've saved up. And I could just buy my own gear at this point._

 _I'm going to have to make this up to her,_ she thought, resigned but relieved that she could reach a compromise once she saw her mother again.

Her head drew back as she looked at the sky and clouds, letting her eyes close as the wind wafted against her, her heart and mind calming before she heard a faint buzzing in the air. Her eyes opened as the buzzing grew louder and she knew this was no insect- her eyes opened and she saw several dark specks in the sky above her. Tanya knew that sound but never thought she'd hear it again.

Airplanes.

The Garrison soldiers gathered in confusion to watch them descend lower, many confused. Tanya didn't know what to think but a great foreboding began to gather in her stomach and it only got worse when she saw several items suddenly thrown out of the planes. Then a great yell resounded from above and lightning and thunder crackled around them.

Tanya gasped as she crouched down and shielded her eyes and head. But nothing seemed to have happened and she rose to her feet just in time to see just what was falling down to them.

She only had a second to comprehend what was happening before disbelief froze her tracks as dozens of titans rained down on them. As she watched a dark-haired titan fall to her with it's mouth opened, all Tanya could feel was incredulity that her second life would end as abruptly and pointlessly as her first one.

And then there was nothing but teeth.


End file.
